Construction And The Crazy Neighbor Lady

The side of the house I’m working at offers those of a daring nature a treacherously steep passage composed of lovely compacted dirt, shale and clay. Add wetness to the passage and it becomes a slippery slope just waiting for someone to attempt it and go ass over tea kettle.

An initial set of steps have been poured by yours truly to assist in making things a little safer but there’s more work to be done. But before work can be completed, an irrigation catch basin needs to be relocated – it’s currently right smack dab in the middle of the path of the proposed steps.

So, on this day, the digging began. And the drama came shortly thereafter.

I wasn’t 10 minutes into it when I heard the huffing and scuffling at the neighbor’s house next door. A window was thrown open, I caught a head in the midst of disappearing and then an exaggerated exhale of breath. It sounds as if a phone is being dialed.

I can’t quite catch the conversation going on until I hear the loud-enough-to-be-heard-for-my-benefit question/exclamation:

“Don’t you need a contractor’s license to, you know, contract?!?”

I chuckle to myself. All I’m doing is digging a hole. Last time I checked (oh, that’s right: I’ve never checked) one doesn’t need any sort of official license or certificate of excellence in order to put a hole in the dirt. My immediate thought on hearing the neighbor was “No, you don’t, not in this case. Just like you don’t need any kind of certification to stick your nose into other people’s business, I don’t care how good you are at it.”

You have to understand the neighbor next door to the house I occasionally do work at is known as “a crazy lady.” Now … I’m not certain she’s actually certifiable, but I’ve heard tell of past scuffles with others, neighbors and the like having regaled me with those tales. She likes to yell at kids, I’m told, who are doing nothing but laughing to themselves as they walk down the street past her house. I’ve witnessed first hand her laser stare while I’ve been laboring at some chore or another, glowering at me for simply, well, being there. How laboring with my back turned away from her house, minding my own business, is a source of irritation to her is beyond my comprehension.

This particular morning I’m 35′ away, doing my own thing, digging. I’m not bothering anybody. It’s not crack-of-dawn early in the morning (it’s 8:30-ish) so it’s not as if I’m waking someone at an inconvenient hour. I’m not creating any excessive noise or whistling some annoying tune while working. It’s just a simple fact of the crazy lady being one of those people who likes to stick their nose in other people’s business and raise a ruckus for her own purposes. I’m sure you know the type – virtually every neighborhood has one. Sometimes, they’re even a source of entertainment.

But … you’ve got to give her credit: She’s good at what she does. And throughout my time working away on the side yard in the coming weeks, I expect the drama to escalate to a fever pitch.

I’ll keep you posted. And with pictures if possible …

*Above photo not an actual likeness of the real crazy neighbor lady

Ass

From the “Tales Too Terrible To Tell” department …

(Though, this tale? Not so terrible.)

Still, I’m certain it was terrible for the guy involved.

I was on a mission.

I was in the Sacramento airport minding my own business, gazing out the grand windows overlooking the tarmac with its planes coming and going. I had my backpack and computer at my feet and I was checking emails while waiting the call to board the plane. Of a sudden, some guy appears to come up to me just out of my field of vision and leans against a post about eight feet opposite me. I looked up only to his belt level when I saw him extend his foot and kick a zarf* someone had dropped. It rolled its way a mere foot from me.

I was astonished at the gall of this dude. That partially crumpled piece of trash was somehow bothering him enough he felt the need to move it completely out of his vicinity with an economy of energy that could only be summed up as lazy. Furthermore, it was rude of him to kick the thing in my general direction. What an ass.

I looked up at him and made eye contact.

“Really?” I asked him. I bent over and picked it up, leaving my belongings where they were, moseyed over to the nearest trash bin and tossed the sleeve into the waste. I walked back and took up my same position, leaning against a stand at the window.

I again looked over to the man, made eye contact and stated matter of factly: “That was hard.”

He looked away from me. I couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed, didn’t know what to say or was content with the fact he had no justification for what he’d done. At any rate, you could tell the guy was uncomfortable with how I reacted to his actions.

The call came to begin boarding and I gathered my stuff and got in line. I noticed the guy was 20 folks in front of me and decided I would seek him out wherever he sat on the plane and sit right next to him.

As the crowd worked its way finally into the plane, I noticed Shmucko had weaseled his way into a window seat. He was sitting in a row that was completely filled so there was no chance of me plopping down next to him, heightening his anxiety during the hour’s worth of flight. Damn.

I did, however, get the opportunity to pass him a couple times after deplaning: Once while strolling to baggage retrieval and again just before I caught my ride from the airport. Both times I passed an icy stare his way. He knew it was me but didn’t look my way. I don’t believe he appreciated either instance.

In fact, I’m positive he issued a sigh of relief to see me board a vehicle and depart from the premises …

*zarf: hot beverage sleeve

It Wasn’t A Super Moon — It Was A Double Super Moon

Wow.

Did you see that moon last night?

The astronomers weren’t kidding. Last night’s Super Moon didn’t disappoint.┬áIt was spectacular and awe-inspiring.

But …

What they didn’t tell you was there would be a Double Super Moon out for everyone’s dining and dancing pleasure, an event even more rare than a Super Moon.

With the Super Moon 16% larger and 30% brighter, well … the Double Super Moon effectively up’d that ante. By the light of the Super Moon, the Double Super Moon was just … just … WOW.

What an event …

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