Funk, Funk And Funk

I was in the hospital, visiting a patient …

Nurse: “I’m going to have to ask you to get off that bed. You’re contaminating it.”

Me: “Oh. Sorry. My apologies …”

Alternate Me: “Hey! I showered before I came here! I’m clean! Of course … the jeans I have on haven’t been washed since last month and I’ve worn them every day for the last 21 days straight … but … Hey! I showered at least!”